Two Week Wait - Natural IUI

I've given this a lot of thought and have decided that the two week waiting period between giving "it" our all and finding out whether it worked or not totally sucks.  I realize that it must be so different for everyone. So so very different.  And for every different person, I have to think that every month is also very different.  Usually starting with the hopeful/"I don't even care if it happens this month" emotions before slowly slipping into the keep-yourself-guarded/"I can't take another single line" arena.

As I mentioned previously, I partook in a fun science experiment called an IUI this month.  I did it naturally with no meds, mostly because I had no other choice, but also I liked the sound of it. Au Naturale.  So chic. 

Right now, I am 1 day past my second insemination and I have to say that it's already started. The questions, the thoughts, the rational and mostly irrational logic tumbling through my head. What should I do? What shouldn't I do? WHAT CAN I DO?!  What is the magic formula?

Like most other infertile chickees, I'll do the normal: cut out alcohol, consume less coffee, stress less, and find a good book or 3 to read whenever I find my mind wandering.  

I just want to "up" our chances and "do our best!"  But, is it really in our hands? Completely?  I wonder...

Sometimes I think that downing a jager bomb before boarding a plane to Vegas would be completely a-okay if I wasn't "trying" so hard.  So much of EVERYTHING in life is mental.  I mean, through the powers of my own brain within my head, I am able to actually give myself a stomach ache out of nowhere when I feel trapped someplace (elevator, traffic, auditorium, pedicure chair...R. Kelly's closet) for no reason!  This is proof that our mind is a tricky thing. It has magic powers.  

It's also why I'm working hard to find the calm, mental space that makes me feel good this month. Healthy. And like I'm not missing out on anything.  I want to find the completely un-desperate place where I feel like I want to live this way whether I was trying to achieve BFP status or not, no sacrifices.   Something along the lines of needing a 2 week cleanse from my otherwise hectic life.  

So, that's how I'm proceeding.  If it yields a big fat NO-WAY...then, at least I was super healthy and I read a few good books.  And as a backup, I already have plans for the night that aunt flow should decide to visit.   Date-night, complete with wine and good food in the city! And coffee (tons of it) in the morning!

And if the answer is positive...well, we'll just have to see!

Fingers crossed!

L