Having a newborn means...

Blowing your nose with your left hand...when you're a righty.  Because you only know how to hold your baby in your right arm. Baby 1, face 0. What a mess.

Holding in pee WAY longer than you ever thought possible because SOMEONE decides to finally fall asleep after hours of grouchiness and you'd rather wet the couch than cause her to stir.

And apologizing to your dog a lot.  Because oh my God, how good was life before, right Remy?