Nostalgia, Injections, and what's to come...

NOSTALGIA:

Once upon a time, I never thought about getting pregnant.  I never fantasized about my belly or a nursery. I never watched other families longingly. Kids always seemed kind of loud and crazy to me and babies were a little too fragile to take a chance holding.  At the time (up until a couple years ago) I just kinda figured it was because I wasn't ready for that phase.  I'm HUGELY into enjoying the phase I'm currently in (infertility phase - not as fun), so that's what I was doing. 

I always knew I wanted kids (before I even knew I wanted a husband) but not to ooh and aww over and not to dress up in frilly dresses.  I wanted to have a child because I really and truly believe in family and unconditional love being 2 HUGE things in my life that make everyday better.  They are what make me strong and I've always wanted to pass that along.  Plus, I love learning/enjoying/living through my family's experiences.  More people = more learning! It always made sense. But I never really fantasized or spoke about it more than say, once a year...and even then it was usually prompted by someone else's wondering. Now looking back, I think...how long ago that all seems. 

Some people miss high school, some people miss college, I miss those days.  The ones before I knew I was kinda broken.

I shouldn't dwell but September always makes me a bit nostalgic. 

INJECTIONS: 

This month, I'm going through with IVF and last night was the first of my injections.  What I've learned:

1. Injections hurt. 

2. My husband is not a nurse and does not quite have a hang of the needle. Just yet.  He's trying, but I hope it gets better soon.

3. I will have a doctor appt almost every day this month (for monitoring).

4. I am becoming increasingly poor with making excuses to miss happy hours and social outings that involve alcohol.

5. I catch myself hoping more and more every day that this works.  And that scares me!

 MY IVF CALENDAR SO FAR:

Blood test/ultrasound - prescribed birth control and thyroid med to help egg quality.
10 days of BC
AF arrives
Cycle Day 3 blood tests and ultrasound to check ovaries, lining, etc.
Day 3 - Begin injections of Menopur & Follistim at night/Husband begins Doxycycline.
Day 6 - followup appointment to check on progress.

On an exciting note, I'm booking a sublet apartment in Manhattan for the entire month of October.  If this doesn't work out, I'm outta here! Just joking. Hubs and I just need to get away and take a month off of this rollercoaster...plus we're having our basement finished and dealing with construction doesn't sound too soothing!

xoxo
L