Nothing.

I feel pretty dead inside right now.  I've already cried more than I have in the past 12 months put together and now I'm just existing.  Feeling numb.  Tired.  Tomorrow should have been my transfer, but it has been canceled.  IVF should have resulted in a baby this month, but it won't.  I should have healthy eggs since I'm not even 30 yet, but it doesn't seem to be that way.  Out of the 19 eggs retrieved, 16 have arrested, 2 are morulas (which they believe will not make it to freeze) and one is 'almost' a blastocyst.

I'm 29. Why?  

If the almost blasto can make it to freeze, it will be freezed tomorrow. I hope it makes it, but nothing sounds promising at the moment.  All that work.  All that money.  Over.  I can't believe it.

I'm not sure what the next step will be for us. I think that we will still escape our troubles for the month of October and work/live in the city.  Maybe we can do another IVF cycle in November to get better eggs.  Maybe.  

This is so tiring. I'm tired.