Having a dog- HAHAHA, sorry that was
funny. Whatever you do, don't listen to your friend who cooks classic gourmet
meals and eats at the dinner table with her Husky every evening. Just because
your dog is high maintenance for a dog
and acts like a human, doesn't make it a baby - unless it has no usable legs,
can't be left alone for more than 2 minutes, can't see 10 inches past his face,
and breastfeeds from you every 2 hours – NO, the answer is no.
But
it's not all bad news! Turns out that before giving birth, I first had to turn
my 8 pound terrier mix into a baby. Sure, he hated being swaddled in my arms
and being rocked to sleep (he stayed awake), but it helped me feel maternal as
hell and calm leading up to the barbaric (ahem,
beautiful) occurrence known as birthing a small human. Plus, it was a good arm
workout - great for future baby lifting.
Cushy/soft back-board for your bed -
Forget the nursery. I redid my bedroom. Before having a kid, I knew that I'd
most likely breastfeed and even if I didn't, I knew that as an extremely tired
pregnant person, I would not be any less tired with a newborn. Therefore, I
would be performing my throughout-the-night feedings leaning against my bed
backboard. If I so much as had to step foot out of my bed for the first 3
months while the kiddo slept beside me, I'd be pissed.
Massages and pedicures - This is a
no-brainer. I paid women all over the states of New York and New Jersey to give
my swollen feet a good rub down. It wasn't glamorous and it definitely added up
price-wise, but after having a child explode out of my body, I didn't feel
guilty for too long.
Hiding a burp cloth in the arm of every
couch - This goes back to me being lazy not psychic. You never know when
spew or milk leakage may occur. And I can promise that you won’t want to go
running for a paper towel every time it does. You just had a baby. You’re
tired. Stay seated. Relax a little.
Breastfeeding pillow - you can call it a
Boppy or whatever you want, but I prefer life-saving u-shaped cushion to be
used in a multitude of ways all day, everyday.
I
bought one of these before having my kid and thought it would just be another
expensive dog-bed, but oh, how wrong I was. I used it endlessly, whether I was
breastfeeding, napping, doing the dreaded tummy time, for flying in comfort
across the country with a newborn, and for a nice place to rest my dinner plate.
DVR'd TV shows- Now, I'm not saying
that your kid won't fall asleep in a swing or a mamaroo or whatever, but mine
sure as hell didn't. She only fell asleep ON me. I know what you're thinking-
Aw, how sweet. And besides being completely trapped, it really was. If I didn't
feel like a hostage, I'd totally cry over the preciousness. And I know I should
sleep when the baby does - which I did once A DAY, but I can't take 5 naps,
every two hours. I just can't. That's why I saved 3 to 4 episodes of all my
favorite shows before giving birth. Nothing could get me more excited to
breastfeed my child into a milk coma more than back to back episodes of Naked
and Afraid or The Real Housewives of New York City.
Infertility –That’s funny – I wasn’t crying a minute ago. Don’t mind me!
Infertility
is pretty much the worst thing to happen to someone wanting a baby...so OF
COURSE it's the best way to prepare a preggo for baby-dom.
But
seriously, if there is any good to come out of endless testing, pregnancy loss
and heartache, it's how freaking ready I was for my daughter and this new pregnancy when they actually worked out. This also really prepared me for how much pregnancy sucks. Without
it, I would be destined for 41 weeks of eye rolls and complaining over
missing Sangria. Instead, I just lived in fear of anything going wrong, became
overly nice and maintained a very thankful attitude that would not be present
otherwise. Blessings all around!
xoxo
Laura
Lbi with the fam.
